Perspectives on Race

A Discussion about Events Concerning Race

Please give me your opinion on the situation…

with 4 comments

Over spring break my best friend, who I have basically considered my sister for many years now, got into a car accident. It was nothing major, and everyone involved was fine. What wasn’t fine is how she went about telling the story to people. I’m sure no one else said a thing, but I did not hesitate to let her know that she was being racist. She got defensive and felt I was making an unfair judgment. So, I would like another opinion on the matter.
When she was describing the incident she was very clear in pointing out that it was a Black woman in the other car. She said “You know how they can be”. When I answered that no I didn’t, and what she meant she went on to explain how the woman was going off on her and her boyfriend, yelling and being loud and ‘ignorant’ in her comments. I told her that it wasn’t fair to generalize, first of all, and that secondly the woman had 3 kids in the car, wouldn’t you be upset too if your children were put in danger? The woman was upset and in an emotionally stressful situation, and it is unfair to judge her character based off of that one moment.
Then she went on to tell me how disappointed she was when she saw that the cop who arrived on the scene was also Black. She immediately made the assumption that he would side with the other woman, just because they were both Black. According to her, that sort of thing happened “all the time”.
Honestly after that I was pretty infuriated that my best friend could be so ignorant and didn’t allow her to continue her story. Was I wrong?

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Written by elianita514

March 19, 2010 at 9:10 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

4 Responses

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  1. You were absolutely NOT wrong…who is a best friend if not someone to be brutally honest with us and tell us things we don’t want to hear when we need to hear them? You did exactly what you should have, told your friend to take a good look at herself and realize that what she was saying was incredibly racist.

    Your friend may have just been implementing a defense mechanism to avoid blame for the accident when talking to others however, if we all pointed the finger at race when we didn’t want to be responsible for something, the world would be a much nastier place.

    I would never want someone to judge me and my character after a crisis! When I got into a car accident, the paramedics kept trying to check me and make sure I was fine and all I cared about was making sure my dad was ok (he was pale and a diabetic and I knew his sugar was rapidly dropping) so with a rushing heartbeat and a frightened mind I told the EMT to “get the hell away from me and check my dad!”. I’m not an angry or mean person but sometimes when you’re in shock and you’re scared, you act differently than how you normally would compose yourself. This woman was victim of fear, not acting any certain way because she’s black.

    cgator19

    March 20, 2010 at 11:00 pm

  2. Well I recently posted a blog talking about how I always see people post blogs about something there friend said that was racist but I never see anyone say to there friend that they are wrong for there comment, and I think you were totally right in letting her know how racist her comment was. Just as much as she is entitled to her opinion and is able to express herself that way, I think you have just the same right to express your opinion on how she is being racist. We always just let things go when people say racist comments and it shouldn’t be that way. Maybe she will think about it and feel bad because you put her out and maybe she won’t, but atleast you did your part and stood up for what you believe in!

    roxy423

    March 21, 2010 at 1:15 am

  3. It sadly seems to be a trend amongst people in the re-telling of stories. I feel like people dramatize the story in order to make it sound more interesting, as if they are trying to impress someone or something. I think it is in the re-telling of those stories that over-emphasis on race comes up as people try to paint characters within their stories.

    I do, however, think you did the right thing in confronting your friend. When it comes to race, in my opinion, if you aren’t helping things, you are hurting things.

    dmeckley

    March 21, 2010 at 3:43 am

  4. you’re not in the wrong at ALL. When she was telling the story, she didn’t need to add all those unnecessary generalizations about the black woman. Although there are alot of black women out there with attitudes, she can’t assume EVERY black woman has an attitude. As you said, the woman was in a very stressful situation, and probably wouldn’t have acted that way normally.

    rphilp88

    March 23, 2010 at 6:03 am


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